So much for posting every day. The hunger and passion died out within a few days. disappointing. but i feel refueled again today.

before qt today, i felt really inadequate. like God loved those who were spiritually stronger more than he loves me. that's really warped but i believed it. See things the devil does to lead us away from God? that's why it's sooooo impt to stay rooted in Him. He can just pull us away without us even noticing. it's scary. i cant imagine my life without God really. i'll just fall and crumble in my own problems and insecurities.

As i thought more about it (by writing as i usually do), there's nothing i can do or could have done to make God love me more or less. I'll always be His precious and it's my heart He's looking at. If i have a desire and hunger for Him, He's pleased. and this love that He has shown me just makes me wanna do more things to make Him happy(:

QT felt really dry at first so i thought i really need something to light the spark. so i took dancia's advice and read my past written prayers (journal) and i really did work. on 24/2/09 i wrote "...you suffered excruciating pain, hardships and emotional stress...and Lord im sorry for the way i show my gratitude. it's really disappointing"

it really made me reflect on how ive been showing my gratitude for Jesus's salvation. ive been procrastinating, doing whatver i liked and totally neglecting God and guess what Jesus died so that i can be reconciled with God! I can just hear Jesus's heart breaking into pieces already.

i hope this hunger for God wont just be a monday thing but an everyday thing.
I open my heart
I want to be closer
closer to You

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